February 17, 2011
Nice Guys Finish First 45
In Praise of the Nice Guy by Laura Lee Guhrke
Click to read review and book blurb
I have sometimes heard my father jokingly say that nice guys finish last, but having him as my example growing up, I know the opposite is actually the truth. Nice guys finish first. At least they do for me. Oh, sure, I can see the appeal of the bad boy in a romance novel, and I’ve written the bad boy hero quite a few times. But even when I write the bad boy, he’s always a nice guy underneath, waiting to show it for the right girl.
That’s probably because deep down, I’ve always preferred nice guys in real life. It’s so much better to have the kind of guy who brings you coffee in the morning and makes you soup when you’re sick, and who you can count on no matter what. The kind of guy who will always stand up for you, even when it seems like everyone else in the world is against you. My dad is one of those stand-up guys. So is my boyfriend. So are most of the men I like and admire. Aidan Carr, the hero in my latest book, Scandal of the Year, is one of those guys, too.
Such men often go unappreciated, and that’s just wrong. So, since this is February, the Season for Romance, and I’m on the Season For Romance blog, I thought I’d ask you to join me in praise of the nice guys out there. For those of you still looking for him, don’t lose heart. He’s out there somewhere. To prove it, I want those of you who have nice guys in your life to tell us why nice guys are so special and why those girls still looking should hold out for one and not settle for less. What nice guys have you known and how did they show it? Which hot male celebrities do you think also seem like genuinely nice guys? Share your nice guy stories and opinions here and you might win an autographed set of my Girl-Bachelor Chronicles.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 07:59:52
Hi Laura! You’re a busy bee today, aren’t you?
In the movie world, I think Hugh Jackman and Matt Damon both seem like really nice guys. They’re devoted to their families, well-liked by their friends and I’ve never heard even a pinch of bad behavior attached to their names. In the music world, I’ll go with Jon Bon Jovi. Again, a nice guy who’s devoted to his wife of many years and seems very genuine and down to earth. Doesn’t hurt that they’re all sexy as all get out either! *g*
Feb 17, 2011 @ 08:09:57
Laura, I haven’t read any of your books yet, but this post just sold me on Scandal of the Year! I completely agree with you that nice guys make great heroes – in novels and real life.
My husband is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He’s thoughful and takes great care of me when I’m not well. When I’m upset or angry, he always knows how to make me smile. And best of all, I can trust him completely because I know he always has my best interests at heart.
The only down side is that he’s such a good husband he constantly shows me up. I could never be as good a spouse as he is.
Thanks, Laura, for giving me a chance to shout about him. And you’re right – it’s so worth waiting for a nice guy.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 08:43:31
I think George Clooney really is a nice guy. How could he not be with all the humanitarian things he has going on?
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:00:34
Good Morning Laura,
My amazing hubby is the nicest guy…he’s also a geek, and let me tell you a nice guy who happens to be a geek is the way to go. He opens the car door for me, tells me he loves me at least five times daily, and he’s never afraid to show me he loves me. He is also a great friend. He’ll always be there for me or our children. He used to tell me he never finished first until he met me…I know, how lucky am I. I’m truly blessed.
I wonder if Ryan Reynolds is a nice guy?
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:03:15
I think Henry Winkler is probably one of Hollywoods nice guys. He played cool guy The Fonz for many years and it didn’t seem to go to his head. He still acts, writes children’s books and seems to be a good friend to many.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:07:26
The one nice guy I know shows it by being patient with me and being a good listener. As for celebrities, I don’t have an answer.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:39:18
While I do enjoy reading about a bad guy who reforms (who doesn’t?), I think nice guys are the real-life heroes. They don’t have to reform because they’re “perfect” from the beginning and for me, being nice – or considerate – shows real strength of character. Sadly, telling someone he is nice nowadays seems to be close to an insult for many of them. They don’t want to hear they’re nice or cute, they wants to be considered cool and hot. But really, whom would you rather trust and share your life with? The macho guy who thinks HE is the center of the universe or the nice guy who knows about all of your hopes and fears and makes YOU feel like said center of the universe? A friend, a soulmate even, is worth so much more than some short-lived attraction to a would-be Mr. Perfect.
As for celebrities… I don’t know if Ben Affleck is a nice guy but he definitely portrayed one: Neil in He’s Just Not That Into You. He is there for his (ex-)girlfriend when her father suffers a heart-attack even though she has ended their relationship because of his unwillingness to marry. She recognizes that he’s “much more of a husband than her sisters’ spouses” and they eventually do marry. For me, out of all the male leads, that’s the one I’d have chosen for me, because Neil is just a really nice guy.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:55:28
The nice guys I’ve known have all been good listeners, thoughtful, patient and somewhat laid-back.
As for Hollywood types that might be good guys…hard to say but Matt Damon probably.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:59:25
You can’t really change people, can you? As much as being young and ambitious, meeting a ‘bad boy’ and thinking you can change them is more like banging you head against a wall!
My father was a nice guy. Truly nice and I hope someday to meet someone like him.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 10:17:14
My Dad, father-in-law, husband, and son are all of them nice guys. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t strong or that they are pushovers by any means. However, they consider the feelings of other people in what they say and do.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 10:35:33
Morning, everyone!
Yes, PJ, I am overwhelmed right now. I just finished the 3rd Abandoned at the Altar book, and I’ve got to cram a lot into the couple weeks before I get revisions from my editor. I keep telling them, “Please don’t schedule my deadline and my book releases together.” They don’t listen. And then they say, “So why aren’t you active on Facebook?” Oh, and yes, Jon Bon Jovi is a super nice guy and very, very hot. I met him once years ago at a party, and everybody who knew him had nothing bad to say about him.
Katrina, that’s funny about feeling like your husband shows you up in the niceness dept. I feel that way, too, about romance. My boyfriend is way more romantic than me, and I’m the romance writer. Sheesh.
And Kacie V., my guy is a geek, too. A geek-jock. Yes, there is such a thing. He’s an IT computer whiz and has played just about every sport there is except (I think) badminton. He got me skiing again and got me to take up wakeboarding. Love that guy.
Susan, no you can’t change people in real life. But they can, sometimes, change themselves. It’s rare but it does happen. In books, it’s great to read. But in real life, I wouldn’t count on it. Nice guys rock.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 10:55:52
I know few nice guys in my life and I feel the way they show is when they help other people out without wanting some kind favor in return.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:07:38
There are a few nice guys that I know, but they also seem to have a dark side, too. I agree with the others about Matt Damon and George Clooney. I do think Ryan Reynolds seems like a great guy.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:18:02
Welcome to the blog, Laura Lee!!! I can’t wait for the next book in the series. As for nice guys, I’m going with Ryan Reynolds, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Will Smith and George Clooney. They ALL seem like really nice down-to-earth guys. Their looks is the added bonus.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:27:45
I married my nice guy, he’s a teacher and my real life hero. He gives his all in the classroom, inspiring those 12-13 year old minds, encouraging them to ask questions, to learn. To participate. And still, he comes home and has time for me. Thoughtful, kind and after all this time, still sexy. Yep, I agree, nice guys finish first.
All the best for your release!!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:42:51
My guy Mike is a nice guy, like a genuine nice guy. The guy you call to help you put together your furniture you bought from ikea and comes in 15 millions pieces because you realize that you’re not so handy with a screw driver. OR the guy who you wake up super early to come help your friend move even though he was out late the night before and he’ll come just because he’s a nice guy even if he’s late getting to work. AND you know he’s a nice guy when he doesn’t want anything from you for waking him up and doing manual labor.
As for celebs, I got a phone call the other day from my cousin who is out in Vegas with her fashion company and she said she had a run in with a super nice guy who stayed and chatted for awhile while trying on clothes. It was Kellan Lutz from the Twilight movies. According to her, he is a super nice, down to earth guy and of course, he’s hot!
PS Laura, I loved the Girl Bachelor Chronicles! Scandal of the Year is sitting on my desk just waiting to read and I can’t wait til I get to it!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:43:05
Love your books, Laura, bad guy and good guy heroes alike!
I think Hugh Jackman comes off as a really nice guy in all aspects of his life.
The nice guy in my life is my nephew, Bo. He’s a sophomore in college, but comes home almost every weekend. And every weekend he spends at least one night at my Mom’s house. All of the little and big maintenance projects that come up during the week are taken care of when Bo visits. He also calls her at least two or three times a week to check on her. He checks up on me as well and if I talk about some maintenance project I am working on he either advises me on it or says “Just wait until next weekend and I’ll come take care of it for you.” He worked for a couple of little old ladies when he was in high school doing odd jobs and yard work and he checks on them as well. How many college sophomores spend their weekends at home taking care of a bunch of little old and middle aged (me) ladies? Some lucky girl is going to get a great husband in him. (His current girlfriend’s mother wants to adopt him!)
Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:46:17
I have known a few nice guys in my life and they would do anything for you if you ask. As far as actors go, I think Jeffery Dean Morgan, George Clooney, Nathan Fillion and Sam Elliot are all nice guys.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 12:11:19
Hi Laura! These actors seem to be genuinely nice: Hugh Jackman, Adam Sandler and Jeff Bridges. It’s also more fun admiring these famous nice guys (and also the nice guys in the historical romances that I read) when you’re married to a very nice man who treats you like a queen (and I thank him everyday!).
Feb 17, 2011 @ 12:15:40
I know lots of nice guys…I like what you say about even bad boy romance heros having a nice guy underneath. I love that! Who knows about celebrities, but I’d go with Hugh Jackman on the possible nice-in-real-life scale.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 12:49:16
Some celebrities that seem like nice guys (and I really hope they are!) are Colin Firth, Ben Afleck, Ryan Seacrest, Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, Nathan Fillion, and Patrick Dempsey.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 13:05:22
I think Hollywood celebrities only show the public what they want them to see, therefore it’s hard to say. Although he’s not a hot celebrity, Jay Leno seems like a nice guy, as does Tom Selleck.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 13:14:50
Hi, Laura! I think the actors that are nice guys are probably Hugh Jackman, Matt Damon, and George Clooney.
As far as my life is concerned it’s my husband, hands down! We have been married for 37 years now, and dated a little over a year before we got married. He’s thoughtful, faithful, always here for me, funny, caring, loving, giving, and industrious. I can’t take steps, so he does the laundry for me downstairs. When he brings it up, I put it away, but sometimes he even helps me. He likes to paint my nails for me. He loves to cook, so most of the time he does all the cooking. I help him where he needs help, but he is the gourmet fixer in the house. My main duties for eating is setting the table, getting drinks, and cleaning dishes when we’re done. I just can’t sing his praises long or loud enough.
I love him, love him, love him, and where he goes, I follow — I will follow him!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 13:21:52
Your books sounds really good.
I have worked with and met a few nice guys who have the quality of gentlemanly attitudes and behaviors. Of course, the nicest man was my father who was liked and respected by all who knew him.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 13:43:54
Unfortunately, I went for the bad boy. I had a chance at the boy next door who was nice but he seemed more like a brother and I also think subconsciously since my mom married a bad boy that it seemed more normal to me. That said, I’ve been married 41 years but it sure hasn’t been easy!!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 13:48:50
I married my nice guy too. Before him I was hung up on a couple of not so nice guys and it took one date with him to set me right. The difference was amazing! Before him, I thought they were all jerks and we were meant to deal with them. Pathetic, huh?
Anyway, one example of his niceness? For my 30th birthday he arranged for my mother-in-law to give me a hand-held vacuum cleaner. I know! Who wants a vacumm cleaner for her birthday? Um, me. But my nice guy husband recognized that while I did really want that Dirt Devil, I wouldn’t really want it from him on a milestone birthday. So he dropped a hint on my MIL and while she handed me that, he handed me a really lovely necklace!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 14:03:22
I think Nathan Fillion seems like a really nice guy– or, at least, I hope he is!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 14:12:12
My boyfriend is a nice guy. He does all of these little things for me all of the time. Love him. I think Ryan Reynolds, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Patrick Dempsey all seem like genuinely nice guys.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 15:12:51
My dad, brother & brother-in-law are all good guys. They show it by being themselves, respecting others and caring for those they love. They do little unexpected things to brighten the day of others around them (a note, unexpected flowers, a hug or helping hand with out being asked).
Mark Harmen, Chris ODonnell & LL Cool J all seem to be nice guy celebrities (can you tell I’m an NCIS fan)
Congrats on the newest book.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 15:59:42
I’ve always thought that my having many guy friends while growing up is one of the reasons that I was never attracted to bad boys. I just thought bad boys weren’t worth my time. I want a guy to treat me well since I’m going to treat him well and bad boys don’t make the cut. I also don’t buy the “just be good to me” nonsense. I want a nice guy, a man who will treat everyone with respect and who is respected in return. Lucky for me, it wasn’t hard to have nice guys for boyfriends as all my boyfriends were nice guys, including my present one.
I have enough drama in my life. I want a boyfriend who will help me through it, not one who would add to it. Yay for nice guys!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 16:56:20
Hi Laura! This is such a great topic!
I’ve met my own nice guy. In fact, I’ll be marrying him in June
I’m blessed to say that it only took me 19 years to find him. I’m 22 now, and we recently got engaged, but I couldn’t see myself with anyone else. I know right off the bat that many people think I’m too young. Know, in fact, plenty of such people including my in-laws. But he’s a nice guy – a great guy – if I’m to be honest. And I’m sure of him, sure of us together.
So, how did I know he’s the one? I got sick once (this isn’t the shocking part, I’m getting to that. Lol). I lived in an all-girl dorm and at the time, I was just “dating” my fiancee. I had the flu or some type of bug, I can’t remember what exactly. I do remember, however, that it was after visiting hours – around midnight – when Joe shows up. He sneaked in through a friend. I had told him earlier I didn’t have money for some water or sprite to settle my stomach and it was three flights down to the pop machine anyway. He shows up with a Sprite, sits down on the edge of my bed, checks for a fever…and then he sings to me.
Yes, this might sound incredibly cheesy, but he sat there and sang to me. “Written in the Stars” The song we’ll be dancing to for our first dance as husband and wife. I think I pretty much fell in love right then and there.
Over sprite. A fever/flu. And a song.
The right guy will definitely break some rules (or break and enter into an all girl dorm), spend some money (hey, $1.50 is something!) and be willing to embarrass himself (but he does have a really good voice
) to make you feel better. He’ll be there just to hold your hand and laugh with you about the mundane things. I’m so happy I’ve found him. He doesn’t complete me as the movies believe or say. He complements me. He’s best parts work against my bad parts and my good parts work against his negative ones. It’s celebrating our differences but still coming together in the end.
It’s complicated. Yet so darn simple.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 17:14:05
I don’t pay much attention to actors so I wouldn’t know which of them are “nice” guys, but I can tell you that I’m lucky enough to be married to a nice guy and I do appreciate it. He’s got both construction skills, and he’s also a major geek so he can do or figure out just about anything. Whenever I ask him to, he’s always willing to help out my girlfriends, give them advice about how to fix things, or how to hook up their new printer, or whatever they need and he never complains about it, or makes it seem like it’s any kind of imposition. He’s always very polite and has really good manners. In short, the perfect guy.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 17:47:06
Lots of votes for Hugh Jackman! And I agree. He seems like a great guy and a great dad.
Louisa, Bo seems very sweet.
Catslady, hey, a bad boy works for you, obviously. 41 years? Wow. That’s awesome.
Emily, one bad boy was enough for me, too. I cried on my dad’s shoulder about him, and he said, “Dump him.” I cried some more, and he gave me the best advice ever about guys. “Don’t pay any attention to what guys say. Pay attention to what they do.” That advice has never steered me wrong.
Michaelene, your story is so romantic, I got teary. Whatever you do, hang onto that guy. He’s a keeper.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 17:59:58
I agree with some of the posters’ comments. Hugh Jackman and Matt Damon seem like genuinely nice guys.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 18:26:17
Genuine. nice guys are those who do things to help his fellow man and don’t ask for anything in return…I think Gary Sinese of NCIS: New York, is just such a person. I understand he does a lot to help our people in the Military….I know that he is a true American patriot…..a nice guy in my eyes.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 19:25:11
I agree on Hugh and Matt – they both seem like stand up family guys and hearing Matt talk in interviews, he always seems humble about his success. Plus, he is hot in the Bourne movies! I admire that in any man. My hubby is the nice guy who changes my flat tires and opens the gate at the end of our long drive way for me when it is raining and I’ve come home from work, then I don’t have to get wet!
Feb 17, 2011 @ 20:18:22
My former boyfriend has always been a nice guy, that’s why we’re still in touch many years later. He would have dinner ready when I got home from work, he took care of my car for me, surprised me with spontaneous nights out, made me laugh, those kind of little things that mean a lot. I think Gerard Butler, Nathan Fillion and Matt Damon seem like really nice guys.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 20:24:25
I enjoyed reading this post. SCANDAL OF THE YEAR looks like a great book. Gorgeous cover by the way!
I think I’d pick Pierce Brosnan. He seems like a nice guy to me.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 20:26:13
I have a lot of guy friends who qualify as “nice”! I was driving to to one of their places for the very first time, and it was quite a distance for a lone driver. He gave me directions at the restaurant, climbed on his motorcycle, and then proceeded to stay right in front of me for the entire duration of the trip. No splitting lanes or speeding away! When we got separated by other cars, he’d always find my car (I don’t know how, it has to be some mysterious guy power) and lead me. It wasn’t entirely necessary, since I already had directions, but he was nice enough to stick with me through LA traffic anyway.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 21:04:30
The actor has to be Matt Damon – a nice neighborhood kid who probably shoveled snow the the retired gentleman down the street and took the newspaper and put it between the doors for the elderly woman who lived two doors down. He just seems like that kind of guy. I nice guy who is quiet, goes to work and then home to his family and isn’t out to be seen or written up in the gossip sheets.
My hero is my husband. I know because I dated the “bad boys” before I met him. The college kid who tried to impress all the girls, the lawyer who thought he was better than anyone else (and would probably stab the opposition in the back to win a case), and the rich kid who grew up in the lap of luxury. That was until I met my husband who was brave enough to serve his country during the war no one wanted in Vietnam and then joined the Navy Reserves to help support our country and served during the time of Dessert Storm before he retired. Who helped start the local soccer league when our boys were only 1 1/2 and 3. Who coached little league baseball and let every kid play the same amount of time even if he had a braced on his leg and walked insteaed of ran around the bases. Who was active in community activities and served as an officer in the local and state Jaycees to get more community action going in the state. Who didn’t babysit but instead was a father who cared for his children during the years that I worked nights so one of us would be home with their children.
My hero read daily to his children, changed their diapers and raised them to be responsible men, to be involved in their communities, to be partners to their spouses and leaders to their children, their communities and their piers. He taught his children to lead by example, to teach others to be caring by helping others above himself and to be ture to hid family to show how much he cared and loved us.
My hero, my husband. Thank you Doug for being who you are, my love, my cornerstone.
Feb 17, 2011 @ 21:54:00
I know plenty of nice guys – they’re just all related to me.
My stepdad does all the cooking and cleaning. My mom sets the menu every morning for dinner, and he cooks whatever she craves. He takes care of all of our household paperwork and would be the one I call if I ever get stranded. My oldest brother also cooks and was the one who made me food to freeze and last me a couple of weeks when I was away at school. He’s also always really willing to buy me stuff (especially food) and run errands for me. My middle brother is the one who brings me the food my oldest brother cooks when I’m busy studying for finals. They’re just all so sweet, and I would definitely be looking for a significant other with those dependable and thoughtful characteristics.
Feb 18, 2011 @ 00:13:33
My husband is most certainly a nice guy. He is a man of honor and can always be relied upon to do what is right. He does nice things for people all the time, the random acts of kindness type of things. He retired from the military and is now a postal clerk. Once a month, he will select one of his customers who is mailing off a package to a loved oned in the military involved in the war and pay the postage for them with a thanks for theirloved one’s service. He has done so many nice things for me. He has buildt many bookcases for me at home, but he also built 54 for the library where I worked just because I said we needed them. He has been a great Dad and is now being a great Granddad. I don’t know how I was lucky enough to get him, but I am certainly glad I did.
Feb 18, 2011 @ 08:50:13
I wish I met a real life nice guy, if he were single I’d snap him up.
One in the movies I loved is Mr. Bingley from Pride & Prejudice.
Such a sweet guy and always making sure others are all right.
Feb 18, 2011 @ 14:51:49
Great post. Most of the men I know are nice guys, especially my dad and my husband. My dad was always courteous and respectful of others, even when he didn’t agree with them and went out of his way to help others, not for personal glory or reward, but because it made him happy to do so. My husband is husband is very similar in character to my dad with the added bonus that he has a great sense of humour and silliness which makes me laugh. Luckily I know very few men who are jerks (maybe because I have no time or patience for them) and some of them are single so for anyone out there looking for a nice guy – they are out there.
Feb 19, 2011 @ 14:48:12
Great post, Laura! And can I just say what a gorgeous cover that is?
I know bad boys are hot, but I love nice guys. Always have, always will. I’m married to one!